Nan2seven

6th March: Seizure at about 8.30 a.m. at care home. To A & E by ambulance. 9.15 to 11.15 with Brian at hospital. ? another infection. 2.45 to 5.15: another seizure at 2 p.m.. Large blister on heel 2" across.

7th March: Scan at 9.20. No further seizures. Spent 2 hrs a.m. and 2 hrs p.m. with Brian. I asked for paracetamol as he told me "My feet hurt". He tried to say several things but his tongue is so swollen, ridged and blistered, I could not understand him. Still Nil by Mouth. Smiled 2 or 3 times. Asked "Why are you here?" Did not realise he was in hospital.

8th March: Brian moved to L-h ward. Had had a little to eat. Seen by SALT re swallowing. "Boot" not yet arrived for blister. [Never did.] Brighter in himself but when I said I'd see him tomorrow, he laughed. "We're sailing westerly" he said - so thinks he's back on a ship.

9th March: Brian much more alert but in lots of pain in R knee. Told nurse, who brought 2 tabs p'mol. He took about 20 min. to swallow them - finally with pot of yogurt I had taken in with me. P'mol put him to sleep.

Further seizure in evening. See 10th.

10th March: Found Brian with barely touched dinner in front of him and spilt thickened drink all over table-top. Gave him yogurt which he said was "Divine". Blister on his heel burst while I was there. I asked for some painkillers for him. Nurse asked him to rate the pain on scale of 1-10, 10 being worst. I said he could not do that as had dementia. "I haven't met your husband before." Felt like saying "So read his notes." P'mol given and he slept. Was told he had had another seizure last evening, lasted 40 mins. (???) "Sat up and chatted afterwards." Doubtful as he neither sits up nor chats even when well.

Fri. 11th March: Visited 12.30 to 2.30 to help him eat his lunch. Started well then tired. Keeps chewing same mouthful for up to 5 mins. Spoke to Ward Sister who used the word "Disgusting" of the care home's lack of care for Brian's feet. Doctor came to speak to me re seizures - just damage in the brain as in TIA's etc. She thought he might now continue to have them. Did I have concerns about him going back to the c/home? Yes, I did. Told them he has CHC and sister said she would make some enquiries. Told the Dr. about the 3 falls and the failure to keep his legs raised.

Sat.12th March: Brian ate more lunch, some fish, all rice pudding and a yogurt. He also seemed more alert after some deep breathing, when I had thought he was going to sleep. M and M (over for weekend from France) visited him briefly in evening with me.

Sun. 13th March: M M and family visited Brian a.m. before driving back to France, calling here first. J arrived to visit at 2, just as Brian was getting very sleepy. After being put to bed he went to sleep and could not be woken.

Mon. March 14th: [Me to Dr R: viral laryngitis but OK to see Brian as no snuffles or cough] 12.45 to 2.45 with Brian. He fed himself almost all of his dinner bar the carrots, i.e. fish and mash. Spooned up all rice pudding and had soup as well. Sitting up better than yesterday. Very tired by end of meal, wanting a sleep.

Tues. 15th March: Brian asleep when I arrived. Ate all of his 3 course dinner but I fed it all to him, unlike yesterday. He remained in bed the whole time. Went to sleep again at 2 p.m.

Wed. 16th March: Brian slumped sideways. Roared at me threateningly when I tried to straighten him because my hands were too cold. I asked nurses to do it. He shouted at them. They said he had threatened to punch them earlier. Fed him his dinner. He did not finish any of the three courses. Very vacant. Slight bruise and bump below L eye. He has either had or is about to have another TIA. When asked, several times, he said he was "fine". Fell asleep while I stroked his head.

Thur. 17th March: Brian still unwell. Leaning, vacant, ate only half his dinner. In pain everywhere if touched, even when I combed his hair.

Fri. 18th March: There for Brian's lunch, macaroni cheese for 3rd or 4th day on trot. Another lunch ordered for him. He ate a full dinner i.e. half of each then got very tired. Fell asleep at 2 p.m.

Sat. 19th March: Brian had quite strong tremors in legs and arms, especially left arm. Could hold neither cup nor spoon. He was given paracetamol.

Sun. 20th March: with Brian 12.45 to 3.15. I was asked to stay while he was weighed (11 st 9 = lost 5 lb) and hoisted into bed. I was asked to go in from 10.30 - 2.30 to help each day as some nurses refusing to tend him because of threats and violence, and to save giving him Lorazepam. He could barely wake up for his lunch as given L. half an hour before being hoisted out of bed at around 10,30 "to calm him".

Mon. 21st March: Hospital 10.45 to 12.45, care home visit in afternoon and hospital again from 5.15 to 7.15. [This day written up at TP under "The Hospital has asked ..."]

Tues. 22nd March: Hospital as yesterday. Left Blood Test form at nurses' station, saying test needed for Dr J in Haematology Dept. - he will ring me on Monday with results so needs to be done this week. After morning hoist a nurse said "He is much better when you're here." Hospital in evening: Brian has loose cough. Partly fed himself.

Wed. 23rd March: Brian less with it this morning, but still better than Monday. Did not know me for a spell. Said I lived next door to him at home. Ted visited Brian p.m. and rang me after. Brian still in his chair when I arrived just after 5, another patient was getting into his bed so I stripped it. Brian hoisted into bed after tea. More swearing. He was put to bed wet. Another nurse came, checked and changed him. Left at 7.15.

Thurs. 24th March: Brian's doctor (psychiatrist) spoke to me for nearly an hour. They want to put him on an anti-psychotic. I said no for 20 mins. They said he would be difficult to "place" as he is, and it would help him to be less distressed. Finally agreed. I asked her to check that BLOOD TEST FOR DR J HAD BEEN DONE and she said she would. Brian very tired in his chair at 5.15 but ate most of his supper. Put to bed with hoist while I was there. No shouting.

And then we come to to-day, Fri. 25th March: Brian very drowsy when I arrived, presumably after first dose of Olanzapine last night - too sleepy for it to be "safe" (a nurse said) to give him breakfast. Told sister who seemed not to know and she ordered Weetabix for him at 11.15 but still not arrived by midday, when he was falling asleep and I had to go. He was very confused - nurses were hairdressers - heard someone ordering spaghetti - didn't want it in his hair. But much easier to handle.

Asked again whether blood test done for Dr. J - "I will find out"

Bit late this evening, arrived at 5.30. Brian still in his bedside chair from 11.30 this morning - 6 hours. He was bent double and it was impossible to sit him up and impossible to feed him. Went to find a nurse. Found the sister (who is a lovely girl and who had answered all my questions and more to my complete satisfaction on Monday 21st March and has always been willing and helpful and I had therefore grown quite fond of her) and said I was concerned for Brian. She said she had "sat him up in his chair" only 15 mins. earlier - but Brian was so bent and tired he was incapable of coming even half upright. I urged her to come and look at him and she stopped in the ward doorway - he was just out of sight.

"Please come and look at him" I said, and touched her elbow with my hand. I do touch people, in friendship, reassurance, affection, sympathy, and am glad to be touched in this way myself. I am in no way aggressive.

"Take your hands off me, Mrs P-----." I was startled, but said again "Please come and look at him." She walked into the ward. Brian's trolley/bedside table was at its lowest setting, both his palms were resting on it and his forehead was on the table between his hands. She asked him to sit up. He twisted his head to look at her, raising it about an inch off the table.

"I was here when he was put in this chair at 11.30 this morning" I said. "Has he been there for the full 6 hours?" "I came on duty at four so I don't know." I asked if he could be put on his bed at once and she agreed. The hoist was wheeled in and it was all done quite quickly. I said I thought it was hospital policy that his position should be changed every three hours. I got the "four o'clock" bit again. I said when I came in tomorrow afternoon I hoped to find him on his bed. "He may have been put to bed and lifted out again" she said. No way would he have been that bent and exhausted if that were the case, but I didn't say so.

They propped him very carefully in bed with pillows behind and pillows under his legs, and I fed him the rest of his dinner. The meal seemed to revive him but he was still very confused, talking of Diana with red hair (no idea who that was), hairdressers, "This train being on the rail", who were all these people (other patients and visitors), and other random remarks. I had to make a run for the car at 7.15 and he was quite happy for me to go and kissed me goodnight.

It was only on my way home that I got really upset for Brian, and felt just a bit insulted by the sister's remark. I know there are rules about that sort of thing, there's a notice in A & E about not treating people who are abusive to the staff, etc. - but I had thought we were friends. How naive. Did she think that because Brian was aggressive - in his dementia, for goodness' sake - I might be too?

I should have been angrier with her and her nursing staff for leaving Brian collapsing in the chair beside his bed. He was too tired to lift his head for me to feed him - I had to put the palm of my hand on his forehead to bring his head up enough to put a spoonful of food in his mouth. Three or four mouthfuls went in and then I went to find a nurse.

If it happens again I shall make a formal complaint. Maybe I should make one anyway.