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Diamonds and dog blankets

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Yesterday donned goggles and wetsuit to give Mum a shower for the first time in over a year.

Until now, she's had to put up with wash-downs sitting on the loo. Despite my concern as to what punishment would be meted out on this occasion, Mum wasn't too distressed after all. The hair wash got a "you are a Dirty Bertie!". "Actually Mum, I am a very Clean and Wet Bertie that stands before you in sodden bicycle pants" but no matter. We made it through to the sparkle puff talc and the blingy-bling for which I have acquired a small filing cabinet to catalogue Mum's vast and increasing collection of tinsel-town sparklers.

Quite how Mum became such a Diamond Diva is one of life's little mysteries.

In the evening, a call from SIL. My nephews are selfish. They never call. Who will look after her in her old age?. The last time Mum was invited to stay at my brother's house is so long ago, it has faded from memory. Even when she stayed for her short week or two, they would go out and leave her. I know, because I fielded the distressed calls until they came home. My brother and SIL who drove two hours to remove Mum's few pieces of jewellery for 'safe-keeping' when she was admitted to hospital - yet who couldn't find time to visit. Bitter? You bet. Or somewhere between bitter and wanting to laugh at the pettiness of it all - including me. Still, I find it hard to know what to say.

Got home to find MIL sitting in our kitchen wrapped up in the dog towel with a woolly scarf around her head. The dog looks at me and grins. "Told her it wasn't a good look". Cat looks sideways. Beast is rarely right, but on this occasion she thinks he might have a point.

After a hot chocolate and a biscuit, I lead MIL back to bed. Her apartment is hotter than the Black Hole of Calcutta. A loin-cloth would be over-dressed. But MIL's thermostat is broken and there is nothing we can do about it. Dementia always has its little twists and turns. It can transport you to the unexplored or it can lead you down dark alleyways and dead-ends.

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  1. Nannybus's Avatar
    Glad that the showering was a success, albeit a somewhat dampening experience for yourself.

    I hear that dogs' towels and blankets are the latest mode of dress for some people, indeed I myself spent a whole night under a dog's blanket, but that is a whole other story.
  2. Haylett's Avatar
    Nannybus, you're a trend-setter! How did you end up under a dog's blanket ?- or perhaps that isn't a story for the retelling. Good to see you though. Hx
  3. traceyledgard's Avatar
    Im sorry I know all this is so sad but you have actually made me laugh and smile and I havent done that in a long time. Thankyou and kind regards.
  4. Haylett's Avatar
    Tracey - good to see you. Laughing is always good, no matter what - so I'm glad. I'm following your letters to your Dad too. Hope you get some sleep. Hx
  5. Bastan's Avatar
    Haylett it's fabulous how you manage to bring humour into the nightmare which is often our lives. Thank you for making me smile.
  6. Haylett's Avatar
    Dear Bastan, always good to see you and thank you for your kind comments. Is your family back? Are you feeling better?

    Afraid it has been more of a rictus type grin this last couple of weeks. When my father left Mum years ago, she made a plasticine voodoo doll of TW (That Woman) and stuck pins in it. Even though TW was truly a Slack Alice, I thought Mum's gouging and prodding was a bit too gleeful. But I could have happily stuck away these last few days. Sometimes I think carers are just too nice for their own good. xx
  7. Bastan's Avatar
    Family home, good sleep for me tonight...

    I've fallen in love with your mother!!!

    Who do you want to stick pins in, or is that not for public consumption.

    Seriously though sorry if things are too tough right now. Keep writing and letting it out. xx
  8. evaptson's Avatar
    Great post..

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