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Just spoke to the social worker at the hospital. He said that as mum was moved to another ward last week, the new ward updated the health care assessment and it has tipped mum over into needing another assessment for continuous care. He said this means that Someone will have to come in from outside ( PCT) and do another assessment. If she meets this criteria, it means that all her care and nursing care costs will be met by the nhs. This means that she will get more money which means a better ...

The visit yesterday was not pleasant. I don't know why I hoped it would be. It never is. Just more blame, I'm a liar, I don't make her happy, I don't care. I spent virtually the whole visit in tears. It gets me down so much. I did have the courage to tell mum I wouldn't be in today. I lied and said I had to work. Is that wrong? I don't know.

Today, I went to the doctors again. She has upped my anti depressants by 10 mg from 20 to 30. I am signed off work till next Friday ...

I haven't blogged for the last couple of days, nor seen mum. I just haven't been able to face it, am too scared. I'm going in to see her in a minute though. Just don't expect it to be a good visit. I don't know if I am doing it out of duty, guilt, or what. It seems to upset her more when I go in, so why am I going in?

Started well but then got a call from my brother who was sobbing down the phone. It had just hit him that he will need to move out of the house sooner rather than later as Mum could be in a home by the end of next week. So, went and picked him up and brought him over to my house to help me with the gardening. It seemed to do the trick. Then went to see Mum and stayed 2 hours!! She was in a relatively good place. Not happy! but in a good place none the less. She was nice to me and didn't cry ...

Went to the G.P this morning. Just wanted to ask her why my hands are getting really itchy and blotchy. Ended up bursting into tears and blubbering on about how sorry my life is at the moment! She has now signed me off work for two weeks! Wasn't expecting that although in some ways it is a relief. To top it all, daughters boyfriend dumped her last night without warning. She has been with him a year. What else is going to happen that causes such anguish and tears? And this all before going ...