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Christmas without you mum

It was so hard. Without you mum we all spent time together remembering how Christmas used to be Brian and Terry waking me up when we were small and making me go and wake you and dad up cause I was the youngest and would not get told off
I know how much you loved Christmas and I really wanted you here but I hope you and dad were looking down on us I'm sure you was and I hope you were proud of us
I still can't be leave your not here I still hear you calling and find it so hard when I remember your not here and I'm just imagine it I'm trying to be strong but it's not easy mum I miss you so much and I just don't know what to do without you you was my life I know we had our moments and I wished for me time but now I have all the me time But don't know what to do with myself I would do anything to have you back here with me
The boys have been great but I'm so lonely without you I feel so lost you was the best mum ever even though you were suffering you never complained and you always had a smile for every one any one who met you always said how happy you was I hope you were mum I tried so hard to do all I could for you you were very special not only to me but to everyone you met I really wish I could be with you and dad now because I'm finding it so hard without you you and dad were the best and no one can replace you I love you both so much

  1. Weekend alone

    by on 08-01-2012 at 11:07 PM (Christmas without you mum)
    This is the first weekend I have spent alone apart from Bertie the dog and trixie the cat my brothers have both phoned me each day
    I have felt really lost loads of time but nothing to do friends I had have got there own life you can only say no so many times before they stop asking poor old Bertie has walked miles
    I would have loved a few hours break when I had mum but now I'm lost without her we did everything together for over 5years 24/7
    I have spent the night looking at ...
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  2. Bye mum

    by on 03-12-2011 at 08:22 PM (Christmas without you mum)
    Mum I miss you so much your smile and cheeky look in your eye I keep hearing you call me and can see your smile
    I know you would have hated being as you were those last few days
    And was so pleased you decided not to wake but instead start your journey to be with dad I can just imagine the welcome dad gave you and I know one day you will both be waiting for me you were the best parents anyone could have and you raised us to be full of love for each other and at times like this it shows ...
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  3. Important decisions made

    by on 14-10-2011 at 11:00 PM (Christmas without you mum)
    Cpn is coming Monday with legal man to fill forms in for me to be mums legal guardian once this is done the community matron is going to fill the fotrm in for where mum wants to be till the end mum wants and we as a family want mum to stay at home
    Me and my brothers went out today and discussed whatt we want for mum we have decided against a peg as we feel the operation may be to much for mum as her skin is like tissue paper also she could well be prone to infections I have worked with ...
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  4. Advent full week

    by on 27-05-2011 at 03:13 PM (Christmas without you mum)
    What a week got told off from physio but shoulder seems to be doing well compared with last time
    Mums has been really confused these past few weeks and has been sleeping a lot during the day I can't push the wheelchair and I'm not allowed to drive to thursday
    Took mum to her hospital appointment and she is deteriorating in her breathing and her muscle wasting so although I new deep down was hard to except one good thing that came out was I now have control over her oxygen so ...
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  5. so hard

    by on 28-01-2011 at 10:45 PM (Christmas without you mum)
    this week has been so hard after such a great break not sure if thats why im feeling it more a taste of what im missing
    mum is not right she is asleep most of the time people keep saying well she is 85yrs and she has a good life as though shes not important now even my brother has said it
    im not going to give up on her no matter what any body said i am scared though im frightened i will walk into her bedroom and wont be able to wake her up i do realise the day might come when this ...
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